Pandammit

I feel as if I’m doing time.

Whenever I manage a modicum of peace, another cement shoe falls.

We’ve been sheltered-in-place here in the state of New York that apparently, is in quite a state with more residents coming down with the Coronavirus at the speed of light.

Our Governor, to his credit, tried everything before realizing, there was no other choice, and I respect him for it, even though I’m more uncomfortable than I’ve ever been in my own skin, wondering how we got here.

What I do know is, we’ve been greatly humbled.

I’m not religious, but do believe in a power greater than myself, and God had to do something big to get our attention, and he certainly has.

A week ago I was mewling over my library closing. Now, everything that’s not considered essential, is closed,  Madison Avenue looking like an abandoned film set, stores all dark bearing the same sign…

CLOSED TEMPORARILY DUE TO COVID-19

We hang onto the word temporarily like a piece of driftwood bobbing in the water.

Two weeks ago, plastic bags were eliminated from many stores, the Upper East Side frantic, not caring there was a reason for it.

Global Warming has been one of the many things we arrogants have not taken seriously. Who cares about the polar bear sitting on an ice cube, or those tropical storms leveling homes, as long as it’s not mine. And we can’t leave out the birds, who never got the memo, but what do ya mean, no more plastic bags charging a nickel for a paper one?

We’ve taken selfishness to new heights, so what was God going to do, his children even too smug to be prepared.

Ventilators, just in case? Please, I’m too busy thinking only of me, not my fellow man who may, one day, have trouble breathing.

As I wrote to Marc (sorryless.com), it’s like the White Star Line not providing enough lifeboats on the Titanic, the balls on those men, the size of that iceberg.

Governor Cuomo said, he’s got people in China right now, searching for ventilators. Why weren’t they searching before? I know, a moot question but, hey…I’m practically under house arrest in the company of canned goods, so we do ponder what preceded these uncharted events.

At night, when I crawl into bed, I’m grateful to have gotten through another scary day. I rest, I read, I pray that the world as we’ve known it, will come back to life, as the sun rises in the east.

I promised God, who’s heard it all before, that we’ll do better and to please give us a another chance.

I’m waiting to hear back. 

SB