Channel: Politics – athingirldotcom

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Those Wacky Presidents

March 2, 2024, 2:00 am

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≪ Previous: Teddy Still Teaching From Above

Thomas Jefferson was a shopaholic, forced to sell all of his books to pay his debts. Of course his vast collection did sire the Library of Congress, so Tom at least could still hold his head up while buying all those breeches in assorted colors.

He clearly spoke too soon when he famously said…

I cannot live without books.

George Washington’s teeth went on a National Tour, kinda like A Chorus Line.

James Madison only weighed 100 pounds. William Howard Taft, 350. Of course Bill was 6′ and Madison 5’4″ with a few years between them, but I still heard my grandmother say…Jimmy, why don’t you eat a little somethin? And you fatty, no dessert for you.

JFK changed his clothes several times a day. How I would have loved to have seen his dry cleaning bill.

Abraham Lincoln was 6’4″ with a size 14 foot. If he were only born a little later, like a 100 years, he could have played for the Knicks and had a sneaker named after him.

When Theodore Roosevelt’s two young sons, Kermit and Quentin sneaked their brother Archie’s pony, Algonquin, onto the White House elevator when he was in bed with measles to cheer him up, Teddy thought it was simply hilarious, though their mother did not.

Nor was she laughing when Teddy, while giving a speech in Milwaukee, got shot in the chest refusing to leave the podium until finishing, crooning…it takes more than that to kill a bull moose, the name he gave his Independent Party.

Lyndon Johnson named his penis Jumbo and was happy to introduce him at the drop of a hat, or pants in LBJ’s case.

Dwight Eisenhower an avid golfer, had a putting green installed on the White House lawn.

Bill Clinton liked going for a jog stopping off at a MacDonalds along the way.

John Quincy Adams skinny-dipped daily all year round in the Potomac. Presciently distrusting reporters, he would never speak to them, so the Tucker Carlson of his time sat on his clothes until John Quincy gave him a statement. One could say his private parts were then exposed.

Calvin Coolidge had a donkey called Ebeneezer, and a bobcat named Smoky.

And Andrew Jackson’s magnolia tree planted in honor of his late wife Rachel after standing for 188 years, was cut down by First Lady Melania Trump after reading Gardening For Dummies.

Yes, I made that last part up because it still pisses me off that she had no regard for what it stood for.

Of course look who she’s married to.

Maybe Wacky First Ladies could be a sequel.

SB

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