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Groundbreaking News…There’s A Sale On Nuts At Fairway

What happened to the days when groundbreaking news was truly groundbreaking, like when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor or, the President’s been shot.

I must get 30 of these a day attempting to make me stop in my tracks to pay rapt attention to mindless minutiae. No offense to Donald Trump, alright, maybe just a little, but I don’t care about his latest Tweet. President Bartlett of The West Wing in reruns is more apt to grab my attention.

And if one more naughty executive gets axed during lunch I’m turning in my turkey club for a martini. Who’s next, Lassie? Some Poodle any minute through her lawyer will be suing saying her tail was inappropriately pulled. No, I’m not making light of bad behavior, alright maybe just a little, but life is short, and the media is making me wish it was even shorter.

Could we be just a little bit more selective?

Every once in a while, you’ll hear something good, but never called groundbreaking, like that lost little girl they found asleep in a cornfield with her Yorkie called, Fat Heath, guarding her like a furry Navy Seal. That was next to an ad on mattresses on sale at Sleep EZ.  I think we need to reassess what’s considered groundbreaking.

That’s not to say, I won’t be going to Fairway to take advantage of those cheap nuts since nuts, all the way around, clearly can be groundbreaking, if you’re a nut on a budget that is.

So many essays, so little time.  Image may be NSFW.
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SB

 


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